Just Right by Dana

[dreamflower]

Author: Dana danae_b
Title: Just Right
Rating: G
Theme: Some like it hot
Elements: 234 words
Author's Notes:
Summary: It's hard recovering one's appetite after long deprivation.
Word Count: 234

Just Right


It was his favourite thing at breakfast, plump hot sausages... most
especially as they'd been fried up with eggs, onions and cheese, fresh crumbling bread with butter and honey, and slivers of summer apples all crisp and cool. It was just enough, and not too much... having only been allowed broth at first, and not even much of that, he'd learned at least one lasting , and knew what he had now was something to savour.

If only he could bring himself to eat.

The broth had been thin, and lacked in flavour, though he'd been told
it was good for him, and would help him build his strength. It was
nothing compared to his mother's cooking, though – oh, what a thing to think! For all he'd done, and what small things he had endured, he felt suddenly like a child. In all his years, he'd never thought his mother's breakfast-scramble would drive him to weep.

So he took a breath. Scrubbed his cheek. Scraped with his fork, and
took a bite.

'Well?'

It was just hot enough, and there was just enough flavour; he
swallowed, blinked, then laughed. 'It's just as I remember.'

'See, I told you,' Estella said, smiling. 'Food still tastes as it ought.'

Fatty nodded. And thus, being the first real breakfast he'd had in at least a year (in truth, it had only been months), Fatty took his time.

Comments

[wordsworthy.livejournal.com]

A few suggestions:

"waiting for the other shoe to drop" Well, if you're writing slash, what occurs to me is "waiting for the other brace to drop." Meaning, once the second suspender comes off the shoulder, down comes the trousers!
-"don't rock the boat" (okay for a Bucklander, but not for other hobbits) um, "don't pull up the seedling taters?
-"take the wind out of his sails" "take the shoes off his pony"?
-"up the creek/river without a paddle" (again, Bucklanders maybe)
-"on the wrong side of the tracks" What immediately occurs to me is "On the wrong side of the Brandywine."
-"not the brightest bulb in the package" "A peck or two shy of a wheelbarrow of taters."
-"another day, another dollar" "Another day, another pipe of Old Toby."
-"out like a light" (okay, I know there are other kinds of lights besides electric, but let's face it, electric lights are the image this conveys) That's easy. "out like a snuffed candle."
-"lit up like Christmas" Lit up like a Yule log on the hearth?

[dreamflower]

Oh, some of these are excellent! Love "a peck or two shy of a wheelbarrow of taters"! It sounds so Gafferish, LOL!