Just Right by Dana
Jul. 20th, 2009 08:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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lotrchallengesAuthor: Dana ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
danae_b
Title: Just Right
Rating: G
Theme: Some like it hot
Elements: 234 words
Author's Notes:
Summary: It's hard recovering one's appetite after long deprivation.
Word Count: 234
Just Right
It was his favourite thing at breakfast, plump hot sausages... most
especially as they'd been fried up with eggs, onions and cheese, fresh crumbling bread with butter and honey, and slivers of summer apples all crisp and cool. It was just enough, and not too much... having only been allowed broth at first, and not even much of that, he'd learned at least one lasting , and knew what he had now was something to savour.
If only he could bring himself to eat.
The broth had been thin, and lacked in flavour, though he'd been told
it was good for him, and would help him build his strength. It was
nothing compared to his mother's cooking, though – oh, what a thing to think! For all he'd done, and what small things he had endured, he felt suddenly like a child. In all his years, he'd never thought his mother's breakfast-scramble would drive him to weep.
So he took a breath. Scrubbed his cheek. Scraped with his fork, and
took a bite.
'Well?'
It was just hot enough, and there was just enough flavour; he
swallowed, blinked, then laughed. 'It's just as I remember.'
'See, I told you,' Estella said, smiling. 'Food still tastes as it ought.'
Fatty nodded. And thus, being the first real breakfast he'd had in at least a year (in truth, it had only been months), Fatty took his time.
danae_bTitle: Just Right
Rating: G
Theme: Some like it hot
Elements: 234 words
Author's Notes:
Summary: It's hard recovering one's appetite after long deprivation.
Word Count: 234
It was his favourite thing at breakfast, plump hot sausages... most
especially as they'd been fried up with eggs, onions and cheese, fresh crumbling bread with butter and honey, and slivers of summer apples all crisp and cool. It was just enough, and not too much... having only been allowed broth at first, and not even much of that, he'd learned at least one lasting , and knew what he had now was something to savour.
If only he could bring himself to eat.
The broth had been thin, and lacked in flavour, though he'd been told
it was good for him, and would help him build his strength. It was
nothing compared to his mother's cooking, though – oh, what a thing to think! For all he'd done, and what small things he had endured, he felt suddenly like a child. In all his years, he'd never thought his mother's breakfast-scramble would drive him to weep.
So he took a breath. Scrubbed his cheek. Scraped with his fork, and
took a bite.
'Well?'
It was just hot enough, and there was just enough flavour; he
swallowed, blinked, then laughed. 'It's just as I remember.'
'See, I told you,' Estella said, smiling. 'Food still tastes as it ought.'
Fatty nodded. And thus, being the first real breakfast he'd had in at least a year (in truth, it had only been months), Fatty took his time.
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no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 04:15 pm (UTC)Believe it or not, The Hobbit mentions guns! Somewhere in chapter 1 (I think), there's a mention of a "popgun" (probably talking about a children's toy). But I agree with you about phrases like this; it's a challenge to keep "modernisms" out of fanfic, and I probably slip up once in awhile. (But nothing beats a line I read in a fanfic once, which talked about the hobbits of the Shire planning a big meeting after church.)
:D
no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 04:25 pm (UTC)More problematic in The Hobbit is the phrase "like a freight train", so even JRRT slipped up once in a while.
"after church"?!?!?!? Holy cow! (Oh, that's another one...*grin*)
It *is* hard to keep the modernisms and Americanisms out, but really, if one is familiar enough with canon, it shouldn't be impossible. It is a shame when something like that spoils an otherwise nice story. The only problem is how naturally some of the more modern phrases spring to mind. I often end up leaving out the simile or metaphor altogether, though the situation seems to need one.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 04:27 pm (UTC)That's a comforting thought!
:D
no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 04:26 pm (UTC)I have to say that the others stump me. I remember once writing in one of my fics of someone turning off the light instead of putting it out (cringes).
no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 08:42 am (UTC)Sometimes I can find a hobbity equivalent for things, sometimes not, but I still try to keep my radar out.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 04:31 pm (UTC)"waiting for the other shoe to drop" Well, if you're writing slash, what occurs to me is "waiting for the other brace to drop." Meaning, once the second suspender comes off the shoulder, down comes the trousers!
-"don't rock the boat" (okay for a Bucklander, but not for other hobbits) um, "don't pull up the seedling taters?
-"take the wind out of his sails" "take the shoes off his pony"?
-"up the creek/river without a paddle" (again, Bucklanders maybe)
-"on the wrong side of the tracks" What immediately occurs to me is "On the wrong side of the Brandywine."
-"not the brightest bulb in the package" "A peck or two shy of a wheelbarrow of taters."
-"another day, another dollar" "Another day, another pipe of Old Toby."
-"out like a light" (okay, I know there are other kinds of lights besides electric, but let's face it, electric lights are the image this conveys) That's easy. "out like a snuffed candle."
-"lit up like Christmas" Lit up like a Yule log on the hearth?
no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 08:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 08:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 08:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 05:09 pm (UTC)A phrase I had trouble thinking of a hobbity equivalent for was "getting along like a house on fire".
no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 08:50 am (UTC)"Waiting for the other shoe to drop" is a phrase that means "waiting for the rest of something to happen" (usually something bad). It refers to the fact that you take shoes off one at a time, so you hear the sound of one dropping, and then you wait for the sound of the other. If it doesn't come, you find yourself wondering why...
Well, that phrase sounds not only modern, but sort of American as well. But most hobbits did live in houses, not smials, so strictly speaking it wouldn't be unhobbity for that reason. Still, that phrase has always seemed a bit odd to me: "getting along" is something good, while "house on fire" is definitely not, LOL!
no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 05:19 pm (UTC)Going with what nickeyb said, the hobbits in the Marish *do* wear boots, so some of the shoe/boot phases could have leaked over to the other inhabitants of the Shire.
-"waiting for the other shoe to drop"
"Waiting for the ball to drop" could be used instead. I honestly don't even know why we have this phase anyway. Why would a shoe be dropping, and from where?
Or, if you want to go really hobbity "waiting for the eggs to drop" might work. *shrugs*
-"walk a mile in his shoes"
maybe a more Marishy-type saying, like "walked through the mud in his boots..."
Or not, that's pretty lame. (blushes)
-"the shoe is on the other foot now"
"The glove is on the other hand now" might work. It would have to be worn backward, with the palm-side on the back of the hand and that would feel rather odd.
-"get to first base"
This one's hard. It's difficult to picture exactly what kinds of sports the hobbits had, and even though Tolkien says the Tooks play golf, I just can't picture it. I suppose they could have some equivalent of softball that would make this phase a useable one...
-"like a jolt of electicity" or even "electrified"
Another one that I often see, and I'm sure I've used as well, is "nerves". They had no knowledge of nerves or the nervous system in those days.
-"not the brightest bulb in the package"
-"another day, another dollar"
I've never thought to use either of these. I would probably go with "not the smartest hobbit in the bunch" for the first one - just plain and simple and to the point, like hobbits often do; and probably just leave it at "another day gone" for the second.
-"he had his own agenda"
They didn't have agendas in ME? I don't see anything wrong with this one really. Hobbits may not have had very many formal meetings, but they certainly had some, and that would require an agenda.
-"lit up like Christmas"
How about "lit brighter than the sun" or something to that effect.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 08:56 am (UTC)As to "nerves": the word "nerves" certainly pre-dates the discovery of the nervous system, though its meaning would be restricted to using it in the sense of "nervous" as in agitated, and not in the sense of "nerve endings". I *hate* that bit in the PJ TT where Gimli comes out with "he has my ax imbedded in his nervous system". Yuck! *Very* inappropriate use of language.
"Agenda" just sounds *way* too modern. I am sure they had some set order of doing things, but that would simply not be a word I could imagine them using. And "agenda" in the sense of an ulterior motive, as that saying implies, is *definitely* too modern.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 05:47 pm (UTC)Sorry for the double post, but Shrek and Smashmouth just supplied me with a better one:
"not the sharpest tool in the shed"
How could I not have thought of that one ealier? Sam would be ashamed, lol.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 08:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 05:58 pm (UTC)-"waiting for the other shoe to drop" – waiting for the penny to drop
-"walk a mile in his shoes" – spend a week in his skin
-"the shoe is on the other foot now" – the prize is in the other pocket now
-"don't rock the boat" (okay for a Bucklander, but not for other hobbits) – upset the applecart
-"take the wind out of his sails" - works fine if any of the Shire mills were windmills
-"up the creek/river without a paddle" (again, Bucklanders maybe) – making bread with no flour
-"on the wrong side of the tracks" – on the far side of the Brandywine
-"get to first base" – reach the foot of the hill
-"like a jolt of electicity" or even "electrified" – like a lightning strike / struck by lightning
-"not the brightest bulb in the package – not the sharpest knife in the drawer
"
-"another day, another dollar" – another day, another dawn
-"out like a light" (okay, I know there are other kinds of lights besides electric, but let's face it, electric lights are the image this conveys) – out like a spark
-"he had his own agenda" – he is buttering his own bread
-"lit up like Christmas" – don’t know. Gave up on this one.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 08:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 06:58 pm (UTC)-Walk a mile in his shoes...Spend a week in his smial
-Not the brightest bulb in the package...not the brighest star in the sky
-Lit up like Christmas...lit up like a Yule log
-Takes the wind out of his sails...takes the yolk out of his eggs
You do know that I'm going to be stuck thinking about this all day now, don't you? :D
no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 08:59 am (UTC)Kitty
Date: 2005-07-02 07:00 pm (UTC)I have discussed this with my friend, who is a little better with sayings, and she had some ideas:
- walk a mile in his shoes - walk a mile on his soles
- the shoe is on the other foot now - the cake is on the other plate now
- another day, another dollar - another day, another pipe
Re: Kitty
Date: 2005-07-03 09:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-02 10:19 pm (UTC)The hobbits lived up to the Tower Hills near the water, so maybe they are familiar with sailing?
-"like a jolt of electicity" or even "electrified"
Well there are always thunderstorms and lightning...
no subject
Date: 2005-07-03 09:03 am (UTC)"Like a jolt of lightning" has been suggested, and sounds good.