Daeron's Lament by Erulisse

[engarian.livejournal.com]

Author: Erulisse (one L)
Title: Daeron’s Lament
Rating: G
Theme: Poetry
Elements: “Tinúviel, Tinúviel!”
Word Count: 261

Author's Notes: Disclaimer: Tolkien built the sand box; I only play with the bucket and shovel that he left for me. No money, profit or non, is made from the publication of this story

Summary: After Lúthien Tinúviel leaves the world Daeron, renowned bard of Doriath disappears from the annals. What were his thoughts on the heralded quest of Lúthien and Beren?




Daeron's Lament


Across green hills I wander,
chasing the sounds of faint memory.
I seek the form
hidden in the mist.
Ghosts...

For years uncounted I sat near her
watched her leaping above the sward.
Pearlescent skin
perfectly honed.
Pirouette...

My tunes drove her patterns
or was it otherwise? Opposite?
Form and tune or
tune and form.
Intertwined...

She turned away, her back toward me
leaving my love unrequited.
My song was unheard,
my voice was stilled.
Darkness...

An unexpected and unsought intruder
from strange lands, caught in her eyes.
A whispered quest,
an impossible demand.
Accepted...

Fear came to us then, overshawdowing all.
Would only loss be harvested from her dreams?
Forestalled by imprisonment,
escape and yet again.
Flight...

Promises were given and received
under moonshine, standing, hands entwined.
A pledge given to return,
“No! We journey together.”
Separation...

Despite abandonment reunion beckoned.
Her powers. His strength. No fear.
Across the bridge, dancing,
rhythm in the hall.
Mesmerizing...

Finally, success - one stone retrieved
unearthly fire contained within.
Flame of Fëanor,
carried in mortal hand.
Cursed...

Bridesprice achieved the prodigal returns.
Will soft evening dance again in Doriath?
But no, he lies bleeding,
his life’s force draining.
Sorrow...

Tragedy doubled! Discarding immortality,
she joins him. No separation, no hesitation.
Kingdoms fall to dust
oceans invade, new mountains arise.
Eons...

I still seek, my hope eternal, undying.
I cannot relinquish the hunt.
I must once again see,
feel, hold and watch.
Beloved...

Another dawn chases another rumor,
I follow while piping another tune.
My hope now demolished
Like a mountain
Ground...
Into...
Dust.

Comments

[blslarner.livejournal.com]

An interesting look at Daeron's love for Luthien, and his view of her love for Beren. Excellently done, Erulisse.

[engarian.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, my dear. I wasn't going to write for this challenge, but Daeron insisted and he also gave me the form - a form I've never used in my poetry before. Such a silly boy! :-)

- Erulisse (one L)

[shirebound]

Ohhh, what a tragic figure and sad story. Well done, my friend.

[engarian.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, my dear. It's a tragic story and not what I had intended, but poetry is as it requires and the author can only write the words :-)

- Erulisse (one L)

[silver-trails.livejournal.com]

Lovely!

[engarian.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! *hugs*

- Erulisse (one L)

[dreamflower]

So lovely and so sad, such a picture of unrequited love, beautifully expressed!

[engarian.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I think you actually did a better job with this challenge because you stuck to established poetic modes whereas my Daeron insisted on making his own style *sigh*. But I'm very happy that you were pleased with my own efforts.

- Erulisse (one L)

[dreamflower]

Well, quite fortunately it's not a competition--and I loved yours!

Sometimes the "voice" of a character takes over; I always think that's a good thing! To me the stories in which the characters seem to dictate the story (or poem) are the best, because they are like a gift.

[hhimring]

I think it's an interesting form and very effective!

[engarian.livejournal.com]

You are very kind, I appreciate your thoughtfulness re my outre poetic form :-) *hugs*

- Erulisse (one L)