Entrance, by goldvermilion87

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

Author: goldvermilion87
Title: Entrance
Rating: G
Theme: Pairs
Elements: in, out 
Summary: cliched Frodo angst
Word Count: 100
Author's Notes:  Late...oops...  Also, I don't think I have a good grasp of the drabble, but I figured I'd enter what I had anyway.



He stood in Sauron’s smithy. He had carried himself there on his own two feet. He drew out that … Lover? Master? Self? ... that Golden Ring. And he remembered no more.

Until he found himself standing beside his … Servant? Gardener? Brother? ... his Friend of Friends. Sam had carried him out….

But to Mordor, the land of despair. 

To be out, Frodo knew now, was not to be whole — was not to be happy.

Until…

“Come in, Mr. Frodo. You’ll catch your death of cold out here!”

And Sam led him through the green door of Bag End.

Comments

[labourslamp.livejournal.com]

It's 100 words, and it followed the prompt. You've got a good grasp on the drabble.

And cliched Frodo angst this may be, but it's not shabby cliched Frodo angst--the end, showing the way his memories have blocked his way from reality, is pretty fresh and disorienting.

(If you'd kept at it for longer than 100 words, though, I probably would have OD'd on it, so in that sense you really do have a good grasp on the drabble.)

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

Aww. Thanks! :-)

I'm not really a fan of angst...though I've written probably more of it than a not-fan ever should...but I couldn't really think of anything else to write. Hehe.

[labourslamp.livejournal.com]

For me it's not a question of to angst or not to angst--it's what its purpose is, and how well that purpose is executed. If it's anxietas gratia anxietatis then yes, I will have issues, especially if Frodo is wallowing in it (he is hardly a wallower in canon!), but if it's a brief incisive moment followed by a lot of backtracking that can be loads more powerful.

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

"he's hardly a wallower in canon!"

TAKE THAT, FROLIJAH!

[dreamflower]

I don't find it cliched at all. It is the sort of moment of angst he would have had to be prone to after the Quest. But, as it *is* a drabble, it's over in 100 words, it serves its purpose and moves on.

I think you did quite well for a first drabble. There are three things you need for a successful one: 100 words, no more, no less; a good grasp of the subtext of canon (drabbles were created for fanfic for a reason); and a bit of a kick in the ending.

You had all three.

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And thanks for the list of things for a proper drabble. That should help me in future. :-)

[periantari.livejournal.com]

It's a very interesting idea of having Frodo think about varying times in his journey during the Quest and after the Quest.
Very novel idea. :)

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[clodia-metelli.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's rather lovely, poor Frodo's present disintegrating into his past now that the quest is done. Thank you!

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you!

[thunderatiger.livejournal.com]

Ooo, I like it. I like the parallel/contrast idea you set up. The idea of being caught in the volcano and then getting out sets up what should be a contrast, but you turn it on its head and show how nothing's really changed. Emotionally, Frodo's still caught up in all of it until Sam can get him both physically and mentally back in the Shire. It's an intriguing idea.

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

Yes, I wanted to mess with it so it wasn't a complete parallel. :-) Glad you enjoyed! :-)

[antane.livejournal.com]

Mordor was much more than a physical place. This shows that well in that Frodo was carried up a mountain, but not carried down, much as Sam would have tried. The Ring-bearer held that terrible place within him as did the hearts and souls of the Nazgul and all those who served there, though Frodo was not on the level of that. Indeed he must have wondered what the Ring was to him, a rapist that he still desired. And who was Sam too - all of those things, a light in his darkness. Well done!

Namarie, God bless, Antane :)

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[mercuries.livejournal.com]

Awww, Frodo & Sam! This is a good contrast between Mordor and Bag End - and Mordor haunts him ever afterward.

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[lindahoyland.livejournal.com]

An excellent drabble and insight into Frodo.

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[paranoidangel]

I think this is a good drabble - it's got a wholes story in 100 words. I like how you've used your elements and how the way the first two paragraphs are written reflect Frodo's distraction during that time.

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you.

[blslarner.livejournal.com]

Oh, a proper one indeed--Frodo still caught spiritually on the mountain, between the Ring and the Fire and what It would have brought him to, until Sam called him back to NOW. Well done.

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

[pearltook1]

I liked this! A very unique approach and not the expected ending.

Well done, goldvermillion!

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm glad you liked it, and that the ending wasn't expected. I was afraid it might be too obvious.

[mrowe.livejournal.com]

Even, or perhaps especially, with the turn at the end, this gave me the shivers (in a good way).

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

I can't believe I wrote something that gave someone the shivers! :-DDDDDDDDDD

Thank you!

[someplacetobe.livejournal.com]

I liked the differences in imagery: Mordor and Bag End, past and present.

You did very well for a first drabble!

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

[foxrafer.livejournal.com]

I really like your use of the prompts; thanks for sharing this.

[goldvermilion87.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :-)